Saving a Marriage: Is it Too Late?
At one point in your life, you swore that you would be with your spouse until death, but now, you’re not so sure. Any marriage is going to have disagreements and fights, but you’re at your breaking point. You can’t stand your spouse, your spouse can’t stand you, and everything seems to be falling apart. You may want to save your marriage, but at the same time, you may think that it’s too late to do so.
The truth is, it’s never too late to save your marriage. Don’t get us wrong; some marriages should end, but many of them are salvageable. Here are a few reasons why you should try to save it.
Divorce is Messy
No one likes a divorce. They are expensive and dividing material possessions can get messy. But one of the toughest aspects to manage is how it will affect your children if you have them. No matter how amicable the divorce is, it’s going to cost someone, and many do not want to go through it because of it. Divorce should be the last resort and not a knee-jerk reaction.
Your Next Marriage Will Probably Fail Too
The divorce rate for first-time married couples is a flip of the coin. You have a 50 percent chance of divorcing. However, the marriages following your first one have a higher chance with each passing one. By your third marriage, you may only have a 25 percent chance of making it.
It’s hard to move on from your first marriage, and the divorce statistics are an eye-opening reason as to why.
You Had Something Once
Unless the two of you got married for reasons other than love, you had some sort of chemistry and compatibility that got you two to where you are today. Think about what made that marriage work at first, and try going back to that. Of course, that may be easier said than done.
Your Problem May Be Easily Fixed
When emotions are flying high, you really do make a mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes, your problems can be easily fixed if you sat down and took an objective look at them. Oftentimes, your anger may be due to bottling up your emotions. Better communication may be the solution you need to keep the marriage going. Other times, negativity can be resolved by turning a couple’s thinking around and learning to focus on the positive.
Marriage Counseling: Good for Everyone
If you want to try to save your marriage, seeking couples therapy is a good place to start. The two of you may be emotional, and by having a middleman, who has a cool head and has no biases, the two of you may learn how to communicate better. A marriage counselor can help those who are struggling with all different kinds of marital issues, and will try to repair the relationship into one that will last a long time. You can look for a counselor near you, or look into online services such as Regain.
Of course, there are some marriages that are doomed, but many can be saved if both parties swallow their pride and go to couples counseling. By listening to the counselor and trying to make changes to the relationship, your marriage can be saved.
Write down all your problems with your marriage, and then write down what you like about your partner. Weigh the options, and realize that it may be a mistake to end the marriage this quickly. Second chances are needed for a reason, and a counselor can help you find that second chance your marriage needs.